Mind Silent Voice

Life

2010-05-16T19:22:00.002+08:00

have been a long while i didn't post any new stuff ....... now sitting in the office alone during sunday really make me feel bored ... so dicided to post sum thing new.

last week just moved house ... from a apartment which has swimming pool and gym moved to a low cost flat.... but i'm kinda like it because my new house just near by the sea... so i every morning i can go jogging there.

my bro which met up accident last year still having his rest at home, he go for second surgery becuase the bone do not connect well.

uncle mahmud pass away last month ..... regret didn't attend his funeral . boss james went to china for four months go through a kidney transplant, this transplant he only gt 50% chances to get well.... i didn't went to airport to send him off.... so i diceded to wait him in penang hopefully he can come back safely.

my digi number had been burn few days back ... now im still looking ways with the digi center to get back my number... becuase the number really meaning to me.

june im going singapore working for sound exhibition and melaka for tour guide job. july gonna fly over singapore again for more then 10 days for the youth olympic game for the sound man job, after that will be in vietnam for around 10days for a concert as sound man. after coming back from the 2 heavy job, will go for jay show concert job as sound man..... kinda looking forward to it.....

in my relationship life..... still stuck . is thinking a good way to let myself forget bout SL becuase i know that JL will treat her very well...... yet here in PG, im still stuck v YF ..... still doing my secision ... once i give up everything ... i know im gonna fly again ..... wanted to make myself clear. is planning the best give for SL's graduation present next year, and my present for this coming sept graduation ceremony.

had been months didn't go back kuantan to visit my mum, after a day cny celebration with her... that cny 2nd day have to go back to work d .....

life ..... getting harder... and lonely ...... what shall i do to improve myself ..... haiz .......
is hardworking to find out myself .....

Never Notice

2009-12-10T23:31:00.002+08:00

yupp... never notice that .... for another week of exam ..... im going to grad ...... times passed so fast..... i never realise that .....

in this unknown city.... i have my happy, sad, cheers,emo,wild,crazy,sweet time ..... is time .... i think is time ..... for me to gog on with my journey ..... move to another unknown town again .......

where shall it be ? i still havent make up my mind .... maybe ..... just pack up my bag ..... go to the bus station .... buy a ticket ... just travel any where that thy offer .......

sure i will feel sad to leave this city... because this is a place that i have my hard time passed through.... i may not coming back here once i leave ..... but then i know i will miss alot of thing here..... specially her..... alot of friend tell me that please dun crazy for her anymore becuase you will never be with her.... yet ...... i know i will it may b a true fact .. but it is just some thing mistery that i will always heading toward it....... just let me stupid for another week ...

once exam over....... im grad ..... then ... thing will forever change .......

plan is there for next year ...... boss agreed to pay up..... friend agreed too ..... is time to build my own company .... in two of the major field in the market .......

next year i wanna gt my money .. to get my own best birthday present ever....... 1 year time.... just give me another year of time ....

心疼

2009-12-01T14:17:00.001+08:00

这篇文章我只是写出我的心声。。。。没有想过埋怨任何人，请别介意。

自从帮不到她买机票那天开始，我两的感情越来越糟。。。。。她开始没有信任没有信任我的价值。我真的好难受！！！！能做的我都办了。我还能做什么？？

她能与别人说笑，不过面对我就是笑不出的。。。。我真的好压力！！！我做了那么多的事情难道你一点也不感受到？？我为你做的，兄弟听了也说我白痴～～～我知道自己所做的事，连自己也觉得白痴，不过明白是为你而做我都不介意。。。。我知道我时间不多，如果有一天我真的离开了，我最想的人一定会是你！！！

我明白自己条件不是好过别人。。。。你有你的权利。。。。我回尊重你。
接下来的。。。。。我还是会一一办陀你交代的事，不问一二。在我离开的那一天。。。。。。我会向你交代一切。。。。

One Years Old

2009-11-17T11:20:00.002+08:00

Here comes the S.E.A.L..... it is one years old already...... time passed so fast ... one years passed so fast ... just a snap of of a finger time......

in this one years .... alot of things happened .... sad, emo, angry, happy.. all kind of felling also have.... even though S.E.A.L stay empty and still alone on the sholder..... i knew that it will understand the feeling og my heart.... and deep down my heart there is some one that i care so much....

soon.... S.E.A.L going off from this town .... hopefully ..... S.E.A.L will be label with someone name.....

happy birthday S.E.A.L

Memory.

2009-11-16T22:31:00.002+08:00

so just back from my TG trainning .... for 3 days.... go around panisular ... tired but then learn alot.....

it is also a birthday for myself.... just alone passed the day in hotel room in the night.... din even manage open the liquor that i brought.... on the day itself i have my event in penang ... i feel regret that i cant attend the event .... feel sad and sorry for my team mate. im sorry guys.....

i brought some gift... but then im not sure shall i present it ot her or what ..... things happened so sudden and turns out to have this kind of ending......

if this is the end ..... if there is no more turnning point.... i will make myself disappear by end of this year ....... im good in playing hide and seek (in terms that you will not able to seek for me).....
but believe that ? i can tell you that im in penang almost two and the half years ... but no one friend knew i was here for study ..... unless there are a few that i inform them...

im not sure i doing this dicision is right or wrong..... going to leave this nice island for a girl again ? where shall i go next ? i have not idea at all..... how stupid im ....... leaving both big city.... im not going to KL for the same reason as well..... so..... i really have no life start end of this year!!!!

today.... when to KLIA.... saw people depart from the airport..... i saw two women wearing boot walking around in the airport.... the first thing that comes into my mind is her.....

i really don't know why..... i really stupid !!! stupid for what i did ...... and i always hurt myself in the same thing......

im not sure.... i think ...... soon.... when you all notice im not blogging for 2 months .... i think im gone...... and hopefully i can rest in peace in the end at some where that i wish for .....

i really wish to cry!!! cry out loud that can make me feel better ... but then ..i have no reason for that..... im suffering ..... serious !!! i cant even talk with my monther bout all this ... because is my own dicision.......

im not sure what i was writing now ....... i wish that i will not see the next sun rise again ... so that i can rest for a long long time......

i will only say that i love my family as well as her..... if some day and some how... im no longer can be found....... i will always take care for the person that i care so much in some method....

i thik she is not even knoe i blogging and she will not reading this as well....... so ... readers out there...... just keep this post and every post in here secret ok ? just let me go in silent.... becuase of this reason why my blog title is mind silent voice.....

readers out there don't ever remember me if i'm not showing up myself of you...... just take my appearance is a dream... ok ? please promise me this .....

一百天的承诺...

2009-11-08T18:20:00.003+08:00

第一次用华语写部落格。。。感觉怪怪的。。。今天的标题有些的特别吗？“一百天的承诺”

在未来的一百天内将会有不同的我出现，因为我剩下的天数不多，就只有那一百天。我会好好的利用。

好想舆她在一起，但是应该是幻想的事了。。。。。。。愿她幸福吧！！！

从今以后，没我的事，我一概不理。。。静下来。。。体会这世界。。。好让我不会留下遗憾。。。

不会在有再见这回事了。。。

“悄悄的我走了，正如我悄悄的来。。。
我挥一挥衣袖，不带走一片云彩。。。”

Change

2009-11-04T10:29:00.002+08:00

long time havent post any thing here. today im not here to talk how and what happen for this few days . i just wanted to say to all of you ....

start from today and now onward i will not talk and speaking anything that not related to me , i will not do and help on any matter that not related to me ......

i don't understand that wh7y people keep using my name to over come some mater ... and i cna tell you that i really hate this happen . becuase you use my name to pass or over come some problem and do you ever realise that you will bring trouble to me ?

i dont know that why peple can be so selfish ? or im too easy to get bully from you all ? do you think all this is not a matter at all ?

i really dont know ... im help less , i cant do any thing. for the pass 1 year i had been to be a very very so hai person , i know it from the beginnning and i dont know why and this can happen ... if you wana talk what shit bad about me ... i will just let it be .... soon or later .... i will make up my mind .... and that time i can promise all of you i will leave in silnet without tell no one of you ..... the good me will leave this place in silent....

some how i feel not to do so and not to leave this place ... but there is no more reason i stay back .... people using me , people looking down on me. what so ever ....... i already get sick of all this .... i'm sick of all the bullshit ...... im done with it ... im leaving .... soon..... very soon ..

10 K

2009-10-10T01:51:00.002+08:00

before going in to 10 topic today .... i'm going to talk bout her first.....

just now .... i saw few comment in her fb ... now only i realise why she so emo and sad this few days ....... because if the him i think.... i knew i cant say much about this topic ... because i'm guessing all the thing that i know .... i can only tell her that , i love you..... i raelly do ... and i dont know how long i will wait for you ... maybe i will wait till the last i'm here before i fly out ...... i can tell you that i'm wiling to do what ever that you tell me to...... (i knew you readers out there will say i damm stupid or i'm a dumm fuck..... but this is how am i in talking about love ... of not ... i wont have a S.E.A.L on me .... )

-ends-

back to the 10k .... yupp...... this is what i'm going to earn per month soon ..... this is my target .... i will do all kind of business and work as hard and as smart as i can ..... i will make myself involve in al kind of busienss soon........ the reason i have this target because i wanted to earn back all the things that i lost in my past........

soon ... if u all want to have any thing just contact me first ok !!! i will give you the best ever price you will never have ... i can also provide you a 24/7 service that i will follow up your deal.....

10 Roses

2009-10-07T12:44:00.002+08:00

yesterday i just back from a 4 days work at outstation...... when i drop by KL i manage to get her 10 roses.....
so yesterday i presented to her.......
wish her really like the roses .....

can any 1 tell me wat is the meaning of 10 roses ? i knew it bring meaning.... but i'm not sure what thats means ..... can some 1 tell me ?

Double attack in 15 min

2009-09-25T23:20:00.004+08:00

after a few week din update this blog..... i'm back now...... for a bad moment for myself....
all about love relationship......

yes.... tonight i will hint out the Her that i will always mention in my post .....

so here i begin.....

i start my day with my event meeting at noon than start my shooting with my junior till night..... i'm back home to online that i saw some thing that hit me much ..... so i will keep this post silent in here and also my voice here too ......

i knew her 1 year plus already.... the first sight i saw her.... i cant forget about her ...... and.... i can tell u the true that she is the first girl that i cry at twice after i be in penang ...... that time is just that i had a very bad moment .. i called her up then have a long talk to her... because her voice can really heal my sadness..... so i'm so silly that cry at her on the phone..... i dont know her noticed that or not.. but i seriously did that......
for all this long while i had treated her very well.... all of my penang buddy nad friend asked me that did i dating with her? my only answer was nop........ and my treat to her was beyond the friedship bar line..... i think all my friend that saw me how i treat her will say that.....
i did many times to tell myself that not to love her... but in the end .... i really fall in love with her.... and i cant tell much bout this feeling... because love is always abstract ....
i say out all this tonight because i will broke my promise to her soon..... few months ago i promised her that i will stay in penang untill she graduated from college... so that everytime when she faced problem in study i will be the first one will be there to help her ......
but tonight i will post it in this post that tell myself that soon ..... i will leave penang ..... because tonight i notice that in her FB she mention that "to love him or not" and i think the him will not be ....
i leave because i really sont know how to faced her after she realyl in date with other guys..... i dont even know how to start my talk with her...... i always scare to faced all this ....
so i think i will leave penang soon... i will give up to continue my degree studies in KDU....
sorry mum because i go against your word this time...

the second hot was sl post. i saw sum thg that really dont wish to see..... even though that i knew she already have a happy life... but then .......... ........

before december 2009 reached settle up a; the thg i wanna do... all the promise and all the wish that i make to myself ... so that when i leave penang... i will have no regret ...

all of my friend, buddy or brothers that reading this post.. i hope that you al will respect my decision and wish my good luck in finishing my promise.... i knew most of you cares about me.... and you all will surely say i'm so fucked up and stupid to do such thing..... because of love... i'm willing to give up on my degree and also my chance of working here.... i just wish to live in my happy world with the person i really care and love... if i cant get to do so.. i consider myself as a loser...... because for me.... love in all kind is the most important motivation that i have for myself.....

i just dont wish i leave here ... but... i cant fuck my brain this time to say i must stay in penang already......

the reason i dun go KL for all kind of network because i dont wish to meet sl in market one day.... and once i leave here... i wont come back anymore..... i swear .... please give me the best memory that i can remember in my life... so that i can always remember all the crazy, fun, and happy thg that i did with you all.......

i really sad now !!! i just finished up 660ml tiger in 10 min.... 2 more to go ..... and i will finish up my jim beam and my mile seven as well... after tonight .... i will not touch al this thg... i promise.... if i smoke and drink again.... i'm willing shorten my life to the person that i love and care to live in this lovely world .......

after this post... i will not so often blog anymore... because i wil try my best to find all my happy memory in panang ..... so that i can leave here in peace and silently......

al the best luck for you all as my redears ... i love you all .....
i love you yf... i really do....
and all the best wish for SL with JL.....

good day to all of you...

09-09-09

2009-09-09T15:52:00.003+08:00

today is 9th of september 2009..... transalate in chinese.... it wll brings the meaning of long last eternity.... " jiu jiu jiu" is a good number combination and also very meanful day..... i'm lucky to passed this day in my life...

here is some thing that i will keep it in my memory... till the eternity with the SEAL.... two song below will always company along the SEAL till the end of my breath....

a song that will make me cry .... for some reason..
another song that will always be her song....

wish SL happy always....

Brother Accident

2009-09-08T11:09:00.002+08:00

so.... few days din updated blog... now i'm back again.....

sunday i went to ipoh to visit my taiping brother..... he really got bang by car and seriously hurt.... when i saw him.... my heart damm pain.... he really hurt in the way that he can't work for the next six months....

in the hospital...... what i can do is just cheer him up even though he only can lay on bed to talk with us.... he really hurt badly.....

when i saw his leg... i kinda like have the feeling of vomit when i eat bread that day during hi-tea with him in the hospital......

four brothers that in penang include me went to visit him.... i can feel that during the sixteen days in hospital..... that day when we visited him.... ia the happiest day during the days in hospital....

after tthe visit.... we head back tp penang.. on the way back ... we stop by ipoh and nibong tebal for food..... we hunt for the nice food like dinosour..... hahah .....

during the walk in nibong tabal night market.... i brought her a nice cute pink colour minie pillow blanket..... i hope she like that....

today is a short post... don't know what to write...

still her alot......
and i can feel that time passed very fast.....
and i raelise i almost reached to the end .... 3 more months.....
i hope... i really can be with her .....
i love you...

i'm off to sleep now... good night..

Things That Happen To Me This Two Night

2009-09-04T23:49:00.002+08:00

after my last post.... things happening around me ..... alot ..... there are things that cheer me up and there is bad bad thing that happen too..... let me list out one by one here ....

03/09/09

6.00pm:
post on my FB wall to invite people join me for dinner......
7.00pm:
when out to eat dinner with my formal hometown classmate near sungai nibong.
9.00pm:
when out with Gan.siang for second round dinner..... steamboat.... i'm really full in that night.
before the steamboat, we brought 2 birthday cake for yee zai's girlfriend.
12.00am:
went out to buy beer again...... drink at 5th floor.... untill 5am.
5.01am:
reach home, then bath and sleep.

04/09/09

12.00pm:
just wake up, then ready to class at 3pm
1.00pm:
decided to skip class,go prangin for shopping, planned to buy some stuff as persent to put in her new car.
3.00pm:
end up buying my brother's graduation present, and coming tuesday will bring her to choose the present for her car.
4.00pm:
called my bro in taiping to ask him come back celebrate brothers graduation ceremony... who know...... he met up in a serious accident in ipoh after his work...... broken leg , ribs and pelvic bone...... he no not dare to tell me, because he said this news will effect me in my studies for my final semester..... i fuck him up in the phone...... because didn't tell me earlier...... so i'm goin to ipoh on sunday to visit him...... hopefully he is ok .....
7.00pm:
reached home..... i ask my housemate to go dinner together.... so... we end up steamboat again..... untill 11.00pm.....
12.00am:
i'm home now.... feeling full and really worry for my brother in ipoh now.... tired..... hoping sunday come fast.. so i can go ipoh !!!

What a Night.....

2009-09-03T17:12:00.004+08:00

i really enjoy my time in penang last night with nick(the hot stuff), kok yang (the young cock), vick(the dick+drunker last night), jeremy (the germz),siew ee(the newbies),(the royal)Prince and raja.

they gave me a wonderful night at Mr Pot last night...... even though i didn't get myself drunk last night but i really enjoying see my buddy drunk and they sing like crazy in Mr Pot ... hahah .... fun the see them drunk ...... i really enjoy it...... we enjoy the time we spend together... and the topic we talk ... make us laugh like crazy....... spend quiet alot.. but is worth for the moment..... that why i always said " beer will bring cheering moment for you some times...."

after the chill we go eat mamak ... then we go for another round in Mr Pot again ..... just to get enough beer for the night.... hahaha .... after the drinking session ... we went to penang airport to send our senior to taiwan for their degree studies.....

actually in the airport.... my mind have alot of question that appear ...... " will i have this chance to fly out " " will i have so many buddy sending me off at the airport " " will i tell all my friend that i'm leaving " " will i....... " alot alot of thing that comes into my mind ..... i just don't know how to say it .... kinda moody for awhile in there ..... but then .... seniors......... i don't really close to them also ... just go there for fun only......

after sending them into the departure gate..... time already around 6.30am.... i'm still not home yet .... this hour .... we drive off from the airport.... heading to the dim sum place and get ourself a very nice breakfast....... hahaha ... so ...... after beer and chill we go airport, after awhile of sadness in airport, we go dim sum to heal everything up with nice breakfast ....

after the breakfast... time already showed 8.30am...... is time for me to go home .... take a bath and rest .. haha ..... then now 5.30pm... i woke up ... to share my last night moment with you all.......

soon or later i think sum where around oct or nov.... i gonna make a party to farwell myself .. and i just hoping all my buddy will come over ..... get yourself drunk and let me laugh at you ok !!!! just let me have some silly moment in penang for the last 3 months before i really leave here..... i knew i gonna miss everything here .... esspecially her ... but i just don't know how to tell her .... ... i think i just need to silent myself off very soon ...

so .... dun care everything first ..... just gila gila pass my day in happy mood .... then .. make myself happy in this 3 months ...... remember everyone, everything here..... i can promise i will leave my mark here for the last time ..

Hungry Ghost Festival

2009-09-02T17:25:00.002+08:00

yupp..... today is the hungry ghost festival.. so i going to skip another day of night class .. i scare ghost disturb me when i on my way back(konon sendiri takut :P )..... and tonight also .... i promise to make myself drunk again at sunset bar....... as you know ... last post i told you all i had been title as a lier ... im damm feel not nice about it ... so tonight ... ithink i'm going to make myself drunk so that i can forget things that i'm dun like when i wake up ...... dun worry ... tml morning i don't have morning class.... because of GAA ... so ... i can enjoy my night ....

still in moody actuallly .... i cant tell you all how much i miss her in word .... i really wish to be with her.... last night before i slee i send her a sms .... about some thing .. i feel that lately . she just don't so often reply me anymore.. is it some thing goes wrong d ? i don't know . i just didn't ask her much .... let it be .... just let me happilly fuck myself to be happy ... then this will be my last 3 months here i think ...... so .... everything will gone soon i think .....

i feel that quiet people read my post ..... but i'm not sure is her reading this .. i just .....
..... ..... ... ...

love you and miss you will only i would like to say it to you ......

but soon i knew some thing will reach to end ..... when i make myself gone silently...

so ..... waiting for the moon ... and beeer / liquor again to make myself drunk ...

Lier

2009-09-02T00:01:00.002+08:00

yupp...... lier... "penipu"......... "da pian zhi"......

penang people..... do i really look like a lier to you all ? i can tell you.... at this moment ..... i kinda upset... because i found out that ..... people in this state choose not to believe me anymore....... actually.....what really happened ? can you all tell me ?

i can admit that ... 4 years ago...... i'm lie-ing in a love relationship...... i though that ny making beautiful lies will create alot sweet moment.... but ...... 1 year ago.... i realise i made a fucking big mistake by doing all this " beautiful lies" that cause me lost alot in term of everything in relationship..... and i knew i will receive karma from what silly mistake a i did for the passed 3 years.... i'm seriouly regret about that.... i really do...... as a result .... i promise i will never make and lies ..... and as a sign for me to always remember this promise... i did a S.E.A.L on myself ..... so that everything morning when i wake up.... brushing my teeth .. i will always remember how silly i hurt her for 3 years .... and how bad was i'm at that time .....

as a result..... i can truely sad that i never lie a penangiest ..... but untill today... after 2 years i'm here..... i realise that poeple around me never believe me anymore.... i can tell you that i'm fucking sad now ... i really do .....

things keep bodering me in my mind ....... i know my days is nearly here for me to say good bye...... thing keeps fuck me off....

i knew i'm fucking mistery in everything i did.... this is me .... i never want to promote myself ... and willing to give away credit if you all want... i just want to make her happy but seems like she really think that i'm a mother fucking lie-ing around her.......

i know i'm poor in everything .... no car , no cash , no house, not good looking ... but what i did just to make you happier.......

i dont mind anymore..... if .... you people in penang or else where that i'm so like to lie you all ... please put a BIG BIG sign in my chat box and tell me how i lied you ok !!!!!!

i really dont want to leave penang because i wishing something to happen end of this year ... but....... if the people of the state donr allowed me to stay here anymore.. i can make sure that ..... i will be gone in penang straight after my exam is over..... and i promise..... i will leave in silent ... i reather leaving alone in sadness..... and i will not explain further for all fake news that you all heard .... just take me as a mother fucker lier ok !!!!

in making you all happy in the next four month ..... i will silent off..... i promise i wil do that ...... you all wil not see me if the time not needed me to be there......

sorry to al my readers ...... this posr contain alot of rude word ... forgive me for saying all the F word .... sorry .... i just too sad and too angry about this ....

Curious Day

2009-09-01T14:52:00.002+08:00

Good afternoon to all my readers out there.... i'm happy to have you all reading my crap here.... hahah ....... sharing the word here..... some times i wonders..... who will be my readers ? i really wanted to know .... mind to drop some word in the chat box when you all read my blog... can ?

hahahaha ^^

so back to my writing ...... today was the first day of my second week studies in college..... today i got alot of question from my coursemate and junior..... their question are alomst the same in point ... but asked me in the different way..... they asked me .... " are you chasing/tackling her ?" " do you still love with the same girl ? " " do you having two love relationship at once ? " " are you still single ? " all kind of this question was asked toward me during my 3 hours in college..... then my answer will be " ya , i'm still looking foward to have love relationship with her " " i'm single now " " yupp i'm still in love with the same girl " ..... then they reply me with " ohh... " " what the fuck !!! u still in love with her ? almost a year story..... but you both still not together... what for ? " " ohh.. i though you already have a girlfriend at some where then still looking forward to be with her... " all this negative reply i have .

hahahaha....... i just wondering .... actually what is happening .... why at the same day and quiet at the same time ..... everyone is concern about my love life? is it you all my blog readers ?

first of all.... i would like to say thanks if you all are my blog readers... because you all help me to earn RM0.25 last month ... hahahaha ....... second ...... i wish you all are really clear that who the girl that i always mention in my blog and i title her as " her " in most of my post...... thirdly.... even is already a years story that between me and her... i might knew the outcome that you all might not really understand ..... and i not really wanted to talk about in this post .....

hmm..... today... missed my first class in college... over slept.. hahah ....... then the noon class.... i realise that the final project was so so hard .... i going to die ...... it will make me suffer soon ..... haiz ....

final sem ... everthing is goin to change soon ....... sad ......
i just wondering .... why her PM in msn state " left 122 days " she is counting for wat date ? i really wanted to know ..... if you all out there that know what is going to happen ... mind to tell me ?

so ... here i will stop for today..... see you all tomorrow again ....

I'm Back......

2009-09-01T02:11:00.002+08:00

Yupp... after a 12 hour travel.... finally i'm safely reach penang..... waitng morning to come..... waiting the sun to rise..... you know why ? because when the morning come.... i can send my hand made lovely moon cake to her..... hope she like to have it.......

this hour i just done with my dinner and bath... i'm clean and tired now... later 8am still have to go to class..... is mass media & malaysian society lecture.... haiz ... goin to be a boring class..... cant late to the class also ... because the lecturer ( is a long story..... cant finish to talk here.....)

so........ i think i'm goin to sleep now .... wanted to writre more..... but lazy already(because of tired).....

good night to all my lovely readers......

Suddenly Emotional

2009-08-31T04:39:00.004+08:00

this is my first blog that i post , where by now i'm at my own house now........ at this hour i should already sleep because of my tiredness of working in the shop and later morning i need to drive back to KL.... i already slept actually ..... but i feel some thing wrong in my dreams and feel sad..... so i wake up and do nothing now...... just because of this silly feeling.

yesterday i did moon cake my ownself, this is the very first time of me doing mooncake ..... and i did it nice and good in looking too...... so i will bring some back to penang to enjoy it ..... i will share this with the special her..... it was real hand made by me ... i hope she can feel the love that i create for her...... sorry to my penang buddys that reading this because i didn't share this moment with you all...... this moon cake i purposely come home and made for her so..... sorry to you all ok.....

i saw her msn pm wrote "left four months" is this the clue thar she talking about me ? or this is her last four months as well ? will she leave me suddenly ? is a guess that bodering me ..... haiz ...... shall i be the one that leaving ..... by why she is the one who wrote the time limit left ?
really make me want to know about it ........

i can tell you all that at this moment ..... i'm really emo...... because i may leave my home for few months..... maybe longer .... i gonna miss my parents and sisters over here..... my dogs too...... and i may leaving this country too...... if i got the contract offer......

if... if.. i really get the offer... i will make myslf to sign 5 years contract with boss..... so that after 5 years of working in others country.... i can enough saving to do everything i want..... if i really fly away from MY end of this years...... i only wish to say "i love you" to both of the ladies that able to make me cry..... i knew i will not call you both to say goodbye..... because i may not wanted to cry at the moment when i'm leaving..... and i knew SL will not wanted to knew the news that sound like this as well at the last minute...... because she use to be very very sad when alex tell her he will leaving the country when he was at the airport.......

so.... if .... if ....... i'm really leaving ...... i will go in silent....... so no one will realise i'm gone(i know i'm very good in playing this HILANG game ^^) i promise ..... i will gone in silent ... just like my blog title (mindsilentvoice)....

so...... i think i cant able to sleep anymore.... so i can only wait for the time ..... to start drive back to KL and head to penang at 5.30pm from puduraya....... i think tomorrow pudu gonna be very crowed.... haiz .......

wish you guys nice day.... sorry to make you all feel emo same like me after reading this post ..... cheers guys.... be happy always......

Feels Not Right

2009-08-27T14:49:00.004+08:00

yupp this is the feeling that i have now ....... everything seems like going very wrong ..... i don't know how to say it out .... i just feel so ......

college just reopen ... now still the first week of the study ... but then i feel so wrong ... may be as a senior rank d .... feel so wrong .... feel like no life around here ... haiz ......

but i still to keep my promise to her ... i have to stay at penang till next year after september..... hmmm... hope to spend more time with her .....

actually ..... i have nothing in my mind to post about today... so... i would like to talk crap only .....

i just miss her very much ..... love her .... hmm..... hopefully .. got more time to spend with her ...... i wil miss the time we be togehter... miss you ......

updated:

when some thing not going right ..... i recieved a funny clip from her .... she make my day turn into good mood ....... she just the right person to be with ....... i just wanted more time to be with her .......

so here i'm to share the clip with you all......

so ..... u all just trust me ... he will be the next super star in town ........ he really good in dancing ...... ge even ca dance like MJ...... hahahaha ...... enjoy it .... she cheer up evening ...... i hope i can cheers your's too....

Up Up Up

2009-08-26T13:14:00.004+08:00

Yupp... to my lovely readers ...... "Up" will be my topic today ........ you all watched it ? this is a very nice movie i can tell you ...... i'm not sure wil you all agree with me or not ... because you al out there may not like animation/ cartoon at all....... but for me .... i can tell you that i really like this movie .....

i only notice that i like to watch cartoon/animation when i was 18...... is true ... i really like bleach, naruto, Up, and lots more ..... i do enjoy watching cartoon.... because for me ... i do feel that cartoon can heal my emotional ...... it company me all the time when out here all alone when i turn into 18....

lets back to "Up"...... last night i went for this movie with siang and prince ...... first time .... i was in the cinema with al the kids in the cinema with me .... last night movie session...... there are alot of kids and parents rather couple or adult ..... and i think three of us are only the teenagers who sat inside the cinema enjoying the cartoon with those kids. ...

actaully those kids laugh happily ...... and we do follow them enjoy the scene too....... having a great time in there even though we dont know each others ...... back to my time when i was a kid ..... my parents dont bring me to cinema so often ... hahaha ...... that time thay all was busying working i think ....

hmm..... at the end of the story ....... it make my tears drop just one... because i do really in touched with the story line .... i like cartoon ... because it remind me alot of thing that happen to me ......

hmmm.... today classes was started ... kinda boring in the class.... feel sleepy ....... haiz ..... but this may be my last time sitting in class room .. studying ... so ... i have to enjoy my last four months and my last chance in class...... degree..... i may not make it already .... because financial problem ..... so.... this will be enough for me so reach so far ...... hopefully ...... can still continue study ...... wakakakkakakakka student life is always the best what .......

working l ife was not enjoy at all..... this month my income all stuck..... no job ...... all thanks to hungry ghost festival ...... house business stuck (during this month chinese less move house one), pc nad hp business kinda slow in move ..... event & entertaiment field die straight straight..... no PA and shooting vedio session... haiz ..... no income this month ...... suffer....... haiz ......

ok ends here for today .... bye ...

i miss her .... alot .....
miss you ... love you ..

College Reopen

2009-08-25T09:33:00.002+08:00

Good Morning my lovely blog readers....... today is official first day of my college reopen..... so here i'm, back to the morning classes again....... this return back ... i upgreaded with the title most senior rank in the college ..... you know why ? because this is my final semester already .... so basically you say that this will be my last four month in this college. after that i will greaduate and i might end up meself of working in some where in this world ........ might be in singapore, might be in dubai, might be staying back in penang, or just pack all my stuff back to hometown...... haiz ...... don't know what decision i should made......

today as 25/08/2009........ look backward to 25/08/2009 it was two years back...... it was the first day i came to penang for education purposes. it was my first time come over penang ..... and it was a nice place to be in..... in this two years ... i was happy because i met my brothers here...... i met my friend here... and i met up some one i love here also...... here was a place that bring a new memory to me ..... it help me to walk over my old days ..... i started my working experience in entertaiment field here..... i started my PR's life here..... and i started to be tougher even untill now i'm still alone here .......

if you ask me am i regret to be here..... i will only answer you that is a give and take option for me ..... if two years back i choose to go UCSI or NOTT 's i might end up meeting up and be with her ...... and we might not needed to saperated .... and my life will mostly different from now ......

yes .... i'm the most senior rank in the college now...... i promise to did some thing serious crazy to UHM the college before i leave ..... this was the promise i made with germz ...... hahha ..... start today i should enjoy my last four months time in this college ...... (hopefully i can did that, actually i just wish that i can spend more time with her.....) so here i will end my writing ...... want get a short nap ...... later 1pm will have my second class.

wish you happy always ..... i do really miss you...

Junction

2009-08-23T00:33:00.002+08:00

emotional moment now ..... things came into my mind ........ i really scare the time passes by.... this is the second time i hate this time passes by thing...... the first time was when she decide to continue a new life with him..... and that was a hurt time for me untill now...... and is a very very hard time for me ... even though almost one year story ago.......

soon in four months times.... i will be reaching another junction of life...... is time for me to make decision..... but this time i really scare to make decision... because i knew i in love with her ... and i hard to make and change on that ...... but i still got my parent to take care as well.... then is time for me to build up my career...... graduating soon ...... continue to study or not is another chapter story.....

i dont want to leave everything that beside me ..... but they soon or later will leave me too... because all of them not from the same place ... i just wish i can be with her till the end .... happy ever after ...

is time to me to say goodbye soon.... i admit that this time goodbye wil be that hardest and sadest once ..... because i'm leaving the girl love and i care , my brothers and my friend.... they walk along with me al this while ..... bring happiness to me all the time .... support me when i needed it ...

and now is the day counting down to the end ....... another sad fact is that this year will be my last year having brithday on this island ... i would like to be with all my brothers, friend and her to celebrate along ... i'm planning on it .... but on my birthday this year ... i was at melaka for the overland trainning for my tour guide course ... i missed out the day .......

i gonna miss alot of thing here...... i build up too many friendship here..... and son or later ... i'm leaving them ........

i really sad now ........ do abit feel like crying .....

sad .............................

Happy Mood

2009-08-22T20:02:00.003+08:00

today i feel kinda happy in mood... you want to know why ? anyway i just want to share this feeling with you ........

when i was sleeping during the evening ....... my god mother called my by using 3G phone call..... and my mother just along with her talk with me ...... i feel so surprise and happy ...... because i'm in the sick mood ... i still can saw them in a far distand .... feel so great after the 3G phone call.....

i even forget about the service when i wanted to call.... then i perli them and say.... " wah... ma ma .... you both so high tech o..... use 3G call me" they answer me " ya la ...... we all got up to date one" hahahahahaha

just feel great to see them .......

Indian or Mamak Can't Enter World Cup ?

2009-08-20T23:54:00.002+08:00

i just viewed a post named "curiosity kills a cat". it was posted from a wonderful lady blog page. Her post is kinda funny and also a logic once i think ...... so ..... her post changed my mind with all the idea that i have during my way home just now. since she is boring during her 4 month holiday ... let me share some funny story with you.......

this funny story will be the first one that i share with you before your holidays ends............ before i start my story telling i hope you do know a little bit about football and world cup ^^ (sorry if i sound rude..... because female don't really like football)

as my title sounded " indian or mamak can't enter world cup?" basically the story sound like this, there is a social factor and general knowledge proved that actually mamak and indians shall never ever play football or enter the world cup competition......... you know why?

it is because if their are given a corner kick at the field ................ they will surely use the corner side busy setting up their stall there to start to sell roti canai, mee goreng mamak and tea tarik rather kick start the football match........ in the end the football field's corner will turn into a mamak or indian roti canai hang out place.

is this funny story logic enough? wakakakakakakakkaak : X

blogger with the "curiosity kill a cat" post i hope you enjoy this page........

to others....... Ignore this post if it bothers you.....

Sick 03

2009-08-18T22:46:00.002+08:00

today still in sick mood........ but not as sick as yesterday...... so i end up forcing myself to attend my night classes, half way during the class.... i cant stand the pain the suddently attack my head.... i though of excuse myself go home ..... but since i skip 1 week class to enjoy then now is pay back time. so i just ran out sentral to the nearest 7-11 brought myself panadol and a bottle of 1.5 liters mineral water..... i took 1 pil of the white medecine .... then feel much more better ..... until i finished my class at 10pm.

now already 10.50pm show on my pc.... i just want some one that can company me for a dinner ...... i treat also nevermind....(i post a wall post at facebook) but i think no one will turn on my offer ..... haiz ...... just a sad lonely guy....

today is my grandma birthday ...... happy birthday ah po......... sorry ya.... almost a year i cant make my time free to pay a visit to you...... i promise you after end of this before i plan my new plan again .. i will back home to stay with you 2 weeks ok !!

haiz ...... sad sad .... still no one reply my wall post in facebook....... so ..........
i think i wil just have to eat my pink , big and small white colour medicine then go to sleep lo .....

haiz ...... empty stomach eat medicine... i think i'm killing myself ...... ate two slice of bread before eat medicine lo.........

oh yar ... mummy called me just now ...... i can heard that she is very worried about me ...... i can just promise her i will take good care of myself ....... (pretend i'm ok during the phone call... not even one sound of coughing :P)

so ... i'm going to eat my bread now .. then follow with my "dessert" then i will have to go and sleep already .... because tomorrow morning i have to attend mesra melaysia program at sunway hotel from 9am till 5 pm...... (shit..... this feeling such as working lifestyle....)

ok la ...... i wanna stop here already ......... wish me recover as soon as possible la ...... then good night world ....... love you all ...... miss you so much .....

Sick 02

2009-08-17T20:30:00.003+08:00

i'm still sick........ but getting better already ....... fever was not so high already ..... cough not so often already .... but my body still in pain.....

sleep for the hold day ........ ate biscuit and drink 100 plus.... lazy go out look for food ..... my housemate ask me go hospital for a check up , just worried that i infected with A(H1N1) , i just dont feel like go hospital lo..... tomorrow only see how la...... if tomorrow still didnt turn well.. then go see doctor lo .....

wanna go back to rest lo ......... good night ....

Sick

2009-08-17T01:57:00.002+08:00

yesterday morning i back from melaka again....... this time for working purpose...... in 24 hour in and out between penang - melaka twice ...... finally make me fall sick......

yesterday i went for live shooting session for the era -11 concenrt at dataran phalawan melaka. i have the chance to have dinner with all the malay artist that perform that night, the artist include datuk siti nurhaliza as well....... what a lucky night.... having fun for this job .....

i'm still sick at this moment.... serious sick !!! high fever, flu, cough+headach...... damm suffer...... no one around to take care me ... just lonely fall sick........ haiz ....... hold body pain like hell ....

pain pain .... sick sick...... miss you ....

Nice Trip

2009-08-14T20:42:00.002+08:00

at this hour..... i just back from melaka for my 1 week holiday .... i spend alot on food, location and gift...... i got alot of fun story wanted to share with u all... but i'm in serious tired after a long day of driving from melaka back to penang........

share with u all when ni get enough rest ok ??

i just back from melaka ...... boss called me tml go melaka for 1 day trip shooting for a malay concert ..... haiz ......... feel like people fooling me ....... but is ok right ? because tomorrow go melaka i was paid ... hahahahahha .... so i think i going to wash my dirty cloth now .. then get well rest ... because tomorrow i going to melaka to work ~~~~

09/08/09

2009-08-10T00:42:00.001+08:00

today i went to pc fair...... i saw her walk pass me .... we smile at each other .........

i really miss you ...... i really do .........

love you..

Her

2009-08-08T17:35:00.002+08:00

this post i would like to talk about her......... a sentence from her today do make me feel nice in the sense that i make me feel happy...... she post in fb said"tq for sumbody bought me a breakfast ..!!" i'm not sure y just she sms me and told me this .... but she choose to post in wall post......

i admit that i love her...... but i knew that i shouldn't to. this story started 1 year ago..... i meet her at my house due to some rental house dealing ...... that time she was with her cold highlighted curly hair..... her looks in this way really catch my sight straight away..... she in was a junior of mine.... but i never notice her before in the college compound... untill the day she came to my house...... i'm really feel that i'm a failer that time... because i never notice her....(not to say big .. in college i think no one will not know me in that particular time.... because i kinda like a high profile person in that period.... and technically saying is that i should see n notice every single face of the student in the college already..... mainly because i'm kinda like the fucked up person that hang around..... bully the senior and also junior with my new known buddy ..... waakakak ^^ )

after ther first met at my house...... everyday i went to college .... everytime i sat in the canteen the first thing i did is to search for her shadow....... done know start when .. i started to feel like i'm in love with her....

for everything i did..... i do not hope for credit... i just wanted to let her know that i do have a will to take care of her.. and i really do...... untill today...... things went complicated..... and i just dont know how to explain it...... so.... (i'm kinda tired now... continue later with this story if i have time...... wanted to sleep with the nice happy quote "tq for sumbody bought me a breakfast ..!!" from her...... )

{later 8 pm have to go work till tomorrow morning 6 am at pulau jerajak....... haiz ..... rest first ... to be continue.... }

07/08/09

2009-08-07T23:52:00.002+08:00

today some thing happened ... it only last for one second, dont know you all notice or not. the day and time happened to be 123456789..... u how it be ? today at the time 12:34:56 date 07/08/09.
see .... this is wat i mean....

tired today... at 10am in the morning only i sleep ......

i got her a breakfast today...... hope she like the light meal .....

i dont know wat to write else..... because i did nothing hold day...... i skip my night class .. ^^
oh yar...... for one and the half month ... finally i keep my room....... it is clean now..... hahahahaha

goin vacation soon...... shall be happy ...

3.25am

2009-08-07T03:25:00.003+08:00

the time on my computer showing me the time of 3.25 in the morning .... i'm still stay awake....
actualy i'm watching TVC on youtube..... the TVC that i watched all related about chinese new year reunion, raya, depavali and funeral...... in all this TVC it show us how important that family loves to us.... so... i do get touched by their TVC..... this feeling make me post my second post in few hours time....

as so far as i live on this planet that called earth.... there was 2 women and 2 ladies that touched my feeling very deep.......

the two women are my mother and my god mother... in my memory ...... the sentences tha she always said to me ... i will always remember in my heart... i feel sorry to them because currently i'm only almost done with my tertiary education.... i will on my way fight for my career.... i'm still new in the society even thought i started to work at the age of 12. i promise you both that within 5 years time.... i will go back to take care of you both ...... i promise.....

the 2 ladies that i mention..... 1 is the girl that i use to be with for 3 years... another 1 will be the one that i shall never fall in love to...... both of them do seriously touched me deep down my heart......

for the four female that i mentioned..... i do cried for them many times ..... and i dont know why.... every night before i sleep.. i will think of them ... alot of 5W1H question will appear in my mind to ask towards them ..... for my mother and my god mother it is defenately ok .. i can call them any time i wanted to... but for the 2 ladies ...... i may not do so... for some reason .... and i dont know what is the reason..... i feel like i have no more balls on me when i call them..... i use to talk with them for more then a hours last time .... but now...... even if she answer the phone and only reply me a word of "hello" i would not dare to listen....... dont know start when i become so coward..........

i would just wanted to say that i fall in love with the ladies that i should be in love with ..... but then i still stubborn to do so...... i'm making myself suffer.... i'm such a silly stupid shit......

hahahahahaha .... i'm scolding myself.. i just cant believe this ........
ok.... my tears had dry at this moment... then i think i shall go to sleep now .....

nightz.

updated:

now already 6.22am showing in my computer clock..... i still stay awake........ what really happened to me ?

arrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....................

i'm goin to be crazy already.........

Busy + Moody

2009-08-07T01:44:00.003+08:00

Blog empty for few days..... because i'm kinda busy with the next week trip. I have to check the hotel room rate, do reservation for the room , arrange the places to visit and plan for the bujet as well.... everynight i do feel like wanted to write a post about it, in my mind i do have to hold article to write about, but after i got everything in my mind ..... i feel like what i wanted to say already spoke out..... so ...... i didn't make a post anymore.....

actually tonight things happened the same ..... on the way back from the night school... the hold article do came in to my mind ... when the moment i reach home i do feel lazy to write a post anymore... so i just go to sleep at 10.30pm without eat my dinner...... by the time of 12.30am i heard her sound, i knew she just next room to mine....

her voice woke me up, i do wanted to hear from her.. but dont know why... my heart pain after i listened to her... so i just took my helmat then i when out from the house...... i knew my action is avoiding the situation..... for now i just couldn't tough enough to face the fact yet......

look at the calender... there is few more months for me to officially hang out in this lovely state .... i really dont want to leave from this state ....... because for the past 2 years i build my brotherhood here.... i build my friendship here.. and ..... u met someone i do care and i love...... (tonight will not mention the person i met and i love ok! ). i knew if i leave here.. i might never come back here anymore.....

for the past 2 years, i saying the truth... 3 uncle the watch me grown up since im a little kid passed away... and i never knew untill i when back to my hometown few month after their funeral. i'm feel really sorry to them because i didn't attend their funeral and send my last bless to them.... few of my friend passed away too ... and i also dont know untill i when back to my hometown....... and alot of my brothers left me because they graduate already.....

end of this year ... is my turn to graduate..... the new brotherhood that i build up.. i really dont wanted to leave them..... my feeling really mixed up with alot of sadness.... i'm a person that bare to lost all thing ...... but not relationship ..... either a love relationship , a friendship , a brotherhood or relationship with my family.......

i'm really confuse with myself..... i seriously lost in the middle of no where..... i really cant find my way out .... can some one lead me to a fair ending ?

end of this year i have to make a decision wether i wanted to stay here of leave..... if i stay here i will be a University student continue my studies for another year...... if i went off from this state i might aplly myself to work with RWS, or went to dubai to b a contract worker with a 60K annual payment. then i still need to consider to go back my hometown to work as well.... because my parents not young anymore... they need my care as well..... infact i hate to be the eldest among my sisters... because i need to plan everything well.... because every decision i made will brings a big effect on me in the future......

what am i going to do ???? some one that free.... to drop me a comment and leave me some word...

another 3days i will having my vacation..... for hold week.. i shall feel happy and excited by now... but.... dont know why i didn't feel so.....

haiz ..........

Boring.....

2009-08-03T17:36:00.003+08:00

2 days had passed .... i still stim on friday night memory...... i so wanted to go sunset make myself drunk again......... (i'm not addicted to alcohol ok !!! just my mood now is with beer) i knew i shall well control myself from the piss drink...... so..... i will hold on this feeling till november... so i can seriously make all this piss into the dangerous liquor mixture...... wakakak :)

so ... officially today is my first day having holiday for my day college....... so boring ..... everyone go back to hometown.... left me alone here..... shit..... all because of sentral...... every night i still have to attend classes....... is everynight !!! hai .... some saturday and sunday i have to go back to the classes too....... i'm tied up with this college already... haiz ..... i hope end of this year ... i can graduate from both of this college and get the cert at the same time....... hopefully by dec 15 2009 i can finished everything up !!!!! looking foward for this date......

sadly to said ..... graduate means a new life coming.... i hate to have another new life.... for the pass 3 years left my home,go around paninular malaysia to find my own spot to live on... i think end of this year i must consider myself where shall i be again ..... hopefully i can stay in penang till Aug 2010 so that i can keep my promise towards a person... then i will definitely consider where shall i be in the future.... hopefully is a island that brings me hope and my career....

haiz ....... stuck with the night classes at sentral..... holiday during the day..... seriouly make me feel like i'm a pig.... sleep till late noon..... finished my branch then continue sleep again ..... haiz .... so no life......

start tomorrow i think i will keep on my own track..... to cut down 50% of the size...... so ... hardcore war shall happenned soon .......

today is 3rd Aug is Prince Birthday .... happy birthday to him lo .......

Happy Birthday Prince

2009-08-02T16:44:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Prince.......

i would like to say this to my brother prince. last friday night i skip my work from mois to attend my brother's birthday. we went to sunset bistro at batu ferringgih . that night we had a good time there.....

i admitted that i'm so stim that night after trying to clear all the beer that left out, in the end i still couldn't manage to do so because i want too tired and abit drunk after the 9 bucket beer plus my sleepless night for hold week because my final exam.

that night i was happy because i manage to celebrate another brother's birthday with him. plus that night really a best night for me to get some alcohol so that i can try to make myself drunk and don't ever wanted to think all the sad fact the i heard few days back.

at least that i able to make myself drunk, safely send all buddy home and sleep hold day for the next day. Prince really drunk like shit that night , eventually he still sober enough to watch the firework that i risk my own safety to put for him.

this fellow messed up sunset bistro by vomiting his birthday cake and beer in the bistro after their business hour.

serious talking here... i enjoy the night even though prince was drunk, but then still got my brother siang and mars to drink with me ...... at least i still sober to know mr alex and mr john that night.

i hoping that one day in this year i will manage to have some thing same like this but that time i wish all buddy that was there shall drink along with me without and one stopping each other..... just make yourself drunk like shit then just sleep quietly at the beach for the hold morning .

this will be a day that my memory will always remember off... because it was really a memorable hang out night with all my buddy .......

we hope and wish for the next liquor and alcohol night ok !!

here i'm off..... holiday now... but serious lonely now....... fuck !!! i'm too free to stay alone and feel the loneliness.........

Busy day

2009-07-31T00:39:00.003+08:00

yupp.... im here again in Mc D greelane to write this blog while i'm having revision here for my tomorrow last paper ....... hope later i wont wake up late agaian for the exam.......

tomorrow will be a busy day because my exam start at 9 am then after my exam i straight away have to go office to meet my boss for the job. tomorrow i will have my job at upper penang road.... hope i manage to make it to my class at 7pm....

after the class i will go to sunset to celebrate my buddy birthday with him..... i think will be a liquor night again...... hopefully i can get enough drink to make myself drunk.... hahhahahaha ......

drunk = tension released......

waiting for the night lo.......

tata... see u all on saturday again....

updated :

i'm so happy..... finally i finished my exam !!!! tonight gonna go wild..... wanna get drunk (hopefully) ....... extra happines that i can talk with her again just right after she wake up from her sweet dream..... do you know that ..... voice of a person just awaken is just the right n sweet voice that u wish to listen everyday.

bye guys.. i want to go work already....

Dramatic morning

2009-07-30T12:48:00.002+08:00

now still noon 12.49 while i writing this post... cant wait till night to share about it....

this morning ... i almost late for my exam!!!!! my exam started at 9am..... and i wako up at 9.11am...... the moment i woke up and look at the time..... i straight away jump up then rush into the toilet get chage then drive my bike ..... rush like hell to the college ...... when i arrived the exam hall..... the time was 9.25am.... 5 more minute i will be banded from the exam..... so dramatic morning ........

the moment i sat down on my place in the hall..... i still took 5 more minute to over come the feeling of " Fuck !!! I'm late" lucky then i'm manage to sit for the exam.

the way i came down from the lift (took me 2 minute for the ride) i try to give myself a reasonable excuse if i'm late to the hall..... one and the only thing come in to my mind is that i will tel the examiner that i stuck in the lift (should be the best reason already right ? )

now i'm home ..... means i done woth the paper already lo... tomorrow is my last paper ... wohoo... after the paper i gonna fly d ...... hehe off from college for 3 weeks... but unfortunately.... i got to work after my last paper ... my boss called me that i have to work at 12 noon at the Upper Penang Road for the PA set up..... the everynight i still have to go sentral for the TG class.. haiz ........

my so called 3 weeks off still busy with sentral class and my PA work..... but nvm .. i will have my 4 days totallly off from work and class to melacca soon.... hahaha....... cant wait for it....
( for this holiday.. i have to skip 4 days class and 4 days work.... lost for RM 400 for the salary and absent 4 more times)

okie..... i think today my post wil stop here... hehehe.... time for my sleeping time again.. later noon at 2 i think felix will come over pick me up for some shopping duty...... busy day started at here lo......

29/07/09

2009-07-30T01:18:00.003+08:00

yupp, pc back to life.... can blogginf again....

hmmm...... what to start first ?? let me talk about everything that happen to me ok ?

my room balckout, the light bulb gone out i think... so hold night i sleep at the living room..... early morning manage to wake up go for exam. lucky i was there early then only i reliese that the tips that i study hold night was wrong so i still go alittle bit of time to catch back my time to do a fast reveiw on the correct topic. but i was to late to enter the exam hall..... i entered to hall at 9.15am i think but the exam start at 9.00am, 15 minute late. lucky i manage to get some rest before the exam so i can answer the paper well.... hopefully the paper can score well.

after the exam i go home and get my real rest..... i slept for the afternoon. so without taking my breakfast and lunch i go back home bath then i sleep straight away. woke up at 5.40pm after get a phone call from Felix..... he asked me whether wanted to drive me to sentral or not... so end up i have to wake up with my tired body.... walk like zombie.... took my towel went in to toilet get a well bath then prepare myself to the TG class.... haiz ..... a suffer lecturer going to start again.

tonight class kinda boring....... but still have to complete it.. cant stop have way... because it was sponser by the MATTA.... tonight class was delay abit to release us out from the class because we was copying some note so.. after the class we (Felix , his GF and me ) went to chulian street to ate curry mee.... for me i personally feel that this stall of curry me is the best among others. so i ordered a bowl of curry mee and a nice mango juice as well.... hahaha... nice combination for my first meal of the day...... dun feel weired..... is true.... i took my first meal of the day around 10.30 pm .......

so here im back to home after the class..... lazy to study for tomorrow exam paper.... kinf of like gave up for the paper ... may be because some reason that i shall not review..... for my buddy .. i think you all wll know....

hmmm.... so here im still dont want to study yet go to sleep..... hang out in this cyber world writing my post...... so i think i will end here for today..... see you all tomorrow ya.

Moody

2009-07-29T00:55:00.003+08:00

dear readers out there, actually this two night i have few nice funny story wanted to share with you. but my moody come so sudden that cause me have no happy mood to share with you all.
i just wanted to release out my moody here tonight.

this morning i do feel realy happy because i do get a call from her early in the morning, even though is a call that asking me some thing about oral exam but i do still feel happy because her voice is what i get to hear . i do admit that i really feel sweet and happy but i knew this is just a chace once in a full moon.

when night comes my moody comes along, i dont know why.... may be i do really miss her very much. from the sad fact the i heard i do still ignore it...... because i dont want to accept the fact. but i knew i have to accept it one day.... but not today either tomorrow.....

alot of buddy do advice me to let go hand on her, but for me personally i cant do so.... don't ask me why..... i can only tell you i really as stardborn as a cow in relationship........ if you dont trust me... just see what happen on my left arm....

back to the moody topic...... why she could make me feel moody..... may be is my jealousy.... my dissappointment and frustrated ..... i cant explain it much... the only thing that i can sau is that i do really care about her... i do....

still alot mixed feeling in me.... but some how i just couldn't say all out here... just let it remain in my mind .... ok...

for the next 2 days i think i cant make anypost because my pc under maintainence. back soon to share with you my funny story ok.......

Moody still here................ arkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.......................... :"(

Mixed Feeling

2009-07-27T12:36:00.006+08:00

so... here i come again..... this is my second official page that post to the public...... hmm... what i shall write ... let me think...... ok... lets start with my hang out in greenlane McD hold night.

yesterday i hang out at Mcd for hold night.... to do my revision for MC106.... it killing me..... in the end ... i forgetten the last answer for the last question in my final paper.... i have to boom the hold question woth my crap.

today exam, the college arranged her to sit behind me.... she whisper at me twice, this feeling was so sweet, but it was the wrong timing for the sweet moment ... i'm frastrated because i couldn't answer the last question. hope next time... there will be a suitable time for this sweet moment again....

other than that i realy couldn't concentrate on my paper because the sad news that i have on last sunday make me keep thinking of it.... i was so fucked up with news, the news even make me couldn't sleep for few night and do really tears for it... i knew is not worth to happen but.. i so have a hard feeling on her. i couldn't just ignore it like ABC......

one of my brother advice me to be mean, but the fact i couldn't do it..... i'm a person who really cares about relationship..... i hope time will prove me right. believe myself, just ignore the fact i heard.

hmmmm......

hold night of mcd coke make me sick.... i shall take a sleep now... later night still have to go sentral for class.... oh shit.... Mr choo assignment still pending after this week only i will start to do it.. hahah.... the lazy bum bum will always keep it till the last moment rite ? i think most for the buddy out there will agree with me.

so.. i think my second post will end here... wait for the third post lo...
"i knew my post is kinda like junk.... but just let me voice out what my mind wanted to say ok ? i think this is the only space i can talk freely.... do comment me if you feel uncomfortable with it. "

First Blog testing ......

2009-07-26T20:22:00.004+08:00

idea out of no where...... finally i got myself another blogspot account that i think this time i will open this blog page to public and for those people that knew me.

actually few days back i keep thinking that i should open a blog to save all my penang memory for the last four month i'm here....... some of you wondering why my sentence sound like this. i'm a student in penang, and i never much talk about it among my friend..... when you ask me why i do so, the only answer i'm able to tell you is that ..... i don't wish to talk about it.

hmmm.... back to the topic..... now i'm writing this page in greenlane Mc D . i don't even know why i do so..... hahaha..... maybe last night the sad fact the i heard do really make me go crazy in the sense that i can't concentrate on my tomorrow final exam....... can't even sleep during night. feel so damm sad and fucked up.....

hmmm... i dun know what im writing now..... the only thing i knew is that i waiting my buddy come back to study with me and i only testing on blogspot for my first time.....

so... to those who will read this page soon... just enjoy my crap ya.....

soon will blogging again.